Listen to me Harry,

"You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. "

Christmas 2007

I love this holiday. Not the gifts or the money, but the family and the meaning. I love getting together and having a reason to be thankful and happy. I love every member of the family I've been blessed with. I love the 9 person supper with my moms side, and the 31 person supper with my dads side. Although my family can annoy and bother me at times, around Christmas it seems that I can put it all aside. And you know what? I don't think its that even. I think that I've learned this year that they are more important to me than I have been making them. I am so entirely happy right now, minus the house being a disaster and it all being over. The cost worries me but then again, I am not paying the bills. It still worries me though. Highlights of the past week have been: Supper with auntie, Playing chase the ace (almost winning.. but not quite), Going to sleep Christmas Eve, Waking up and playing Battleship before Hailey was awake, Opening presents and seeing everyone smile and scream and laugh and be happy, Auntie coming over for breakfast :), Going to Grandma & Grandpas and spending time with them, Going over to Kim & Richards for supper, Watching Looney Tunes before bed, Beating Guitar Hero III, Visiting with Tasha & Jayda & Ryder, Having supper with Dads whole side (which was very good I must add), Visiting with Jason & Shannon & Liam & Reese & Sophie, Crying because I'm overly thankful for life and because of the fact that it was all over. But the trees still up which means it still counts. I love this holiday, did I mention?

Sometimes you stir in your sleep,
Sometimes we're all just dreaming.

:) Merry Christmas, really.

everybody wants to rule the world

i think i am wrong
i dont think anyone is as bad as i make them out to be
i think that i've made myself hate more than i ever thought
i dont think this is right
i think that ive turned into someone else
i dont think its who i want to be
i think it would be better if i could go back
i dont think thats possible
i think that this has all gone on long enough
i dont think its going to end
i think that i'm getting left behind
i dont think anyone will ever realize what they have
i think it makes me furious
i dont think they'd understand unless they were right here
i think that im running out of people who make me happy
i dont think i know how this happened
i think im a monster

i know i need to change
i dont know what to do

i hate you for pretending that you care
i dont like your fake form of sympathy

i think that to get better i need support from people i care about
i dont think anyones willing to help

step up

fall back take a look at me and you'll see i'm for real i feel what only i can feel and if that dont appeal to you let me know and ill go cause i flow better when my colors show and thats the way it has to be honestly cause creativity could never bloom in my room id throw it all away before i lie so dont call me with the comprimise hang up the phone i got a backbone stronger than yours if youre trying to turn me into someone else its easy to see im not down with that im not nobodys fool if youre trying to turn me into something else ive seen it enough and im over that im not nobodys fool if you wanna bring me down go ahead and try dont know you think you know me like yourself but i fear that youre only telling me what i wanna hear but do you give a damn? understand that i cant not be what i am im not the milk and cheerios in your spoon its not a simple here we go not so soon i might have fallen for that when i was fourteen and a little more green but its amazing what a couple of years could mean if you wanna bring me down go ahead and try go ahead and try try to look me in the eye but youll never see inside until you realize things are trying to settle down just trying to figure out exactly what im about if its with or without you i dont need you doubting me

laughing out loud playing to my own crowd

"It is so dark"

he thought, "That I could sleep without closing my eyes; the night would be my eyelids...."

+

if love be rough with you
be rough with love
prick love for pricking you
and you beat love down