i do not know the definition of normal
whatever it is, i am not.

.

so this is what it comes down to.
stress is a killer.
curiosity killed the catastrophe.
more than a trainwreck less than an ambulance.
whatever flows into your brain and makes sense is good for me.
i'm past the point of being able to think.
its building and building and its taking over me.
i am unsure. i cant really comprehend anything.
i do not know what to think, who to think of, when to think, where to think of.
my life in three words is "i dont know"
i dont know why i feel this way. i have more than i give myself credit for.
the feeling of negativity passes over everything.
i dont know why people even bother to try with me.
i'm a lost cause, long shot, dont even take this bet.


ps; "growing up hurts. anyone who says different is a liar"

@

i suck at keeping up.

lifes okay.
going to my second hockey game of this 'season'
brett made cougars. i'll get back to you on whether or not he turns cocky.
althought he kind of already is.

dont have much to say.
im waiting for things to pick up.

i know i missed some stuff from summer in this 'blog'
playing 'worst case scenario' with pam evelynn michelle and brynna.
remember that for me.

yeah i dont know.
might get a phone soon.
i want to meet jeff czum.

all done.

oh yes

i got a guitar

extras

sandy lake was amazing. schools nothing new.
i met 3 australians this year by the way, i'd like to remember that.

these people who i call my friends make me feel worse than anyone else.
theres hockey today but im not good enough to get anything more than an "i'll call you back" im not quite sure why i expect anything more than that. if you catch my drift it means that im not going. fuck i love everyone here so much.

talked to mallory on the phone for 2 hours last night, i guess it makes up for the 4 people who were supposed to call me and didnt.

got the new all time low. november 4th could not come any slower.