Listen to me Harry,

"You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. "

Christmas 2007

I love this holiday. Not the gifts or the money, but the family and the meaning. I love getting together and having a reason to be thankful and happy. I love every member of the family I've been blessed with. I love the 9 person supper with my moms side, and the 31 person supper with my dads side. Although my family can annoy and bother me at times, around Christmas it seems that I can put it all aside. And you know what? I don't think its that even. I think that I've learned this year that they are more important to me than I have been making them. I am so entirely happy right now, minus the house being a disaster and it all being over. The cost worries me but then again, I am not paying the bills. It still worries me though. Highlights of the past week have been: Supper with auntie, Playing chase the ace (almost winning.. but not quite), Going to sleep Christmas Eve, Waking up and playing Battleship before Hailey was awake, Opening presents and seeing everyone smile and scream and laugh and be happy, Auntie coming over for breakfast :), Going to Grandma & Grandpas and spending time with them, Going over to Kim & Richards for supper, Watching Looney Tunes before bed, Beating Guitar Hero III, Visiting with Tasha & Jayda & Ryder, Having supper with Dads whole side (which was very good I must add), Visiting with Jason & Shannon & Liam & Reese & Sophie, Crying because I'm overly thankful for life and because of the fact that it was all over. But the trees still up which means it still counts. I love this holiday, did I mention?

Sometimes you stir in your sleep,
Sometimes we're all just dreaming.

:) Merry Christmas, really.

everybody wants to rule the world

i think i am wrong
i dont think anyone is as bad as i make them out to be
i think that i've made myself hate more than i ever thought
i dont think this is right
i think that ive turned into someone else
i dont think its who i want to be
i think it would be better if i could go back
i dont think thats possible
i think that this has all gone on long enough
i dont think its going to end
i think that i'm getting left behind
i dont think anyone will ever realize what they have
i think it makes me furious
i dont think they'd understand unless they were right here
i think that im running out of people who make me happy
i dont think i know how this happened
i think im a monster

i know i need to change
i dont know what to do

i hate you for pretending that you care
i dont like your fake form of sympathy

i think that to get better i need support from people i care about
i dont think anyones willing to help

step up

fall back take a look at me and you'll see i'm for real i feel what only i can feel and if that dont appeal to you let me know and ill go cause i flow better when my colors show and thats the way it has to be honestly cause creativity could never bloom in my room id throw it all away before i lie so dont call me with the comprimise hang up the phone i got a backbone stronger than yours if youre trying to turn me into someone else its easy to see im not down with that im not nobodys fool if youre trying to turn me into something else ive seen it enough and im over that im not nobodys fool if you wanna bring me down go ahead and try dont know you think you know me like yourself but i fear that youre only telling me what i wanna hear but do you give a damn? understand that i cant not be what i am im not the milk and cheerios in your spoon its not a simple here we go not so soon i might have fallen for that when i was fourteen and a little more green but its amazing what a couple of years could mean if you wanna bring me down go ahead and try go ahead and try try to look me in the eye but youll never see inside until you realize things are trying to settle down just trying to figure out exactly what im about if its with or without you i dont need you doubting me

laughing out loud playing to my own crowd

"It is so dark"

he thought, "That I could sleep without closing my eyes; the night would be my eyelids...."

+

if love be rough with you
be rough with love
prick love for pricking you
and you beat love down

untouched and intact

its always him, her, he, she, them, they, and you.
at the cost of sounding conceited - i'm beginning to think the world has left me behind.

a moment

i couldnt hear the guitars or the drums or alex or the crowd or the security guards or anyone. alexs mouth was moving with mine. same lyrics, same beat.

been bothering me since.. but a good bother.

three in one?

sheesh im on a roll

just saying that jeff czum is still/always will be my hero and i love the boy so much. newport living video made me tear up. i'm very unsure about most things but i know that i will meet him someday.

thank you jeffrey for saving me.. it means a lot.

say anything

i used to know the sound of a smile in your voice but right now all i feel is the pain of the fighting starting up again. all the things we talk about you know they stay on my mind. all the things we laugh about will bring us through it everytime.

i love matt flyzik. he's so cute and made such an effort to talk to me that it just really made sunday what it was. i wanted to meet him so bad and i'm so glad i did. i want them to come back so bad. and you know i dont want to sound high of myself or anythhing.. but i do think that matt kinda recongized me from me messaging him on myspace. because it was kinda like he had somewhat of an idea who i was, and he really wanted to know what i thought of them and everything aha. i told him i was the most insane person there ;) he said he didnt doubt it heehe.

some say that time changes, best friends can become strangers. but i dont want that no not for you if you just stay with me we can make it through. so here we are again same old argument and now im wondering if things will ever change, when will you laugh again? laugh like you did back when we stayed up till 3am and the neighbours would complain.

November 4th, 2007

all time low, boys like girls, the audition, valencia. winnipeg manitoba.

we had basketball from 11 - 1 so that made the whole trip so rushed but oooh well. after the nice 3 hour drive we were in winnipeg at judys by 415. we ate and got ready and left and made it tooo the garrick by like 510. the line was pretty decently long but me and b hopped into place to wait anyways.

there was this group of like 15 girls who must have been 10 or something, and they were the most obnoxious people ever. the valencia merch guy asked me very nicely to take a picture of him & george (i think!) with all those girls, and i did! and then they both came to talk to me and b.. they were so excited that i knew who valencia was hehe. they made us promise we would dance with theeem and then they went on so we continued standing in line. we made friends with a few girls behind us and huddled together to stay warm (i hate canada) and eventually just starting bashing and making fun of all the lame-o people in front of us hehe. it was fun(ny) actually. when the doors opened and we started getting close to them we ran into the valencia merch guy again and talked to him again.. he asked for highfives so we gave em, then i asked if i could borrow his mitties and he said "i wish i could give them to you but you see... we are dumbass americans and didnt come prepared for canada!" hehe he was still happy we knew who valencia was though.

SO WE GOT OUR STAMPS.. GOT CHECKED... AND WENT IN.we went over to the merch and i bought a really intense (EXPENSIVE) valencia sweater, aaand then i noticed zackary standing off to the side and he looked pissed off but i smiled at him and he smiled back so its all geeeewd. we went over to atls merch and sadly i didnt like any of it :( but brynna was getting some and vinny was a dinkus and a half to us, seriously. and not just us but everyone. i definitely sensed some pms issues there..

anyways so we went and got in the crowd and made more friends (we are very friendly people) and we vowed to beat people up to get to the front, and so valencia came on. and we jumped and sang and danced like we said we would... they said that we were one of the best crowds they had had all tour, and we were gooood lookin.

soooo the aud came on and thats when me and b started pushing through people.. we in the center of the crowd a couple rows from the front of the "invisible barricade" and the aud played and it was awesome and we danced and lalalala. then the last song they played was 'dont be so hard' and i went all out and alex came out to sing with them and i was just like wooooooow i'm about to see all time low, it was weird because it didnt really seem real till then.

then i have no idea what happened but the crowd when absolutely insane while atl were setting up. b and i made it to the front of the invisible barricade then everyone starting pushing and shoving and people were getting crushed and then the security guards were like whatever we cant do this anymore and just let the crowd right up to the stage. so we were right against the stage and then everyone starting pushing again and i was getting crushed and everyone was getting crushed. and poor matt and rian were trying to set up and the security guards are in there screaming that theyre going to shut down the show and everything. ahah but to lighten the mood brynna and i yelled HIIIII RIAAAAAANNN! and he smiled and waved at us :) heheh. THEEEN FINALLY ATL CAME ON. some bitches pushed in front of me though but i was still practically on the stage so its okay! all time low played: dear maria, jasey, six feet under the stars, coffee shop soundtrack, let it roll, stay awake!, and the girls a straight up hustler. aha at one point i was gagging on the girls hair who was in front of me.. it was so nasty it was in my mouth and hands and it was so gross ahah anyways so here i was trying to get the hell away from her and i look up and alex is smiling at me aha and so i started laughing and he smiled even bigger. jack and alex were talking about whos dick was bigger, and i was trying to follow the conversation but couldnt really. one of my favorite parts was during let it roll because at the "FROM CALIFORNIAAAA" part it was pretty much just me and alex : ahaha i screamed so loud and there was no one there to back me up... but alex smiled at me again :) and idk what that boy is on but he decided he was going to ask us all to SIT DOWN!? ahah as if the crowd wasnt crazy enough already. so w/e we all sat down and he told us to jump up and daaance so we did! and it was awesome and alex said it was the best canadian date they played.. and again he told us we were goodlookin ;) hehe.

then after that i decided to get the effff out of the crowd since i had lost brynna before atl started so i pushed out of there and found her and i had to go change my shirt because it was literally soaking wet... gaaag ahaha. but just by chance we ended up right against the stage again except we were on the very side. but that is mighty okay with me since i didnt feel like being in the mob of people again. blg came on and playyyed: hero/heroine, dance hall drug, five minutes, let go cover, me you & my medication, heels over head, broken man, and ended with the great escape. i love blg really.. the lights and everything they had was just awesome and they perform so well. and we danced and sang and i was able to move so i called people during their set. and i dont know what else to say really except that i love seeing them and martin said they had already planned to come back during the spring so im just waiting to see who theyre coming with and im going no matter what! :)

so the show was over and i was so dead tired. me and b just sat down and just sat there and remembered how to breathe, relaxed a little then when most people had cleared out of the area we went to go into the lobby.

and some guy got pushed into the wall in front of us and i felt baaad then it was none other than MATTHEW FLYZIK! so i grabbed his arm and was like HI! and he was all :D HI! then we got a picture and i swear he is the nicest boy ever. he talked to me for at least 10ish minutes. and when he/we had to go he said "PLEASE HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!" and he waved byebye heheeh :)

so we went down into the lobby and there was riaaaan standing all by his lonesome so i ran over and i was like heeeeeeeey! and hes like hello! and we got a picture with him.. and talked to him about canada. "ITS SO CLEAN!.. really i dont believe it it's like ... A CLEANER AMERICA!" and yeah hes so nice. then our conversation went like this:
me: you boys better come back here!
him: i want to!
me: you better!
him: i will!
me: YOU BETTAAAAAA!
him: I WILL!
me: ......you better.
him: ahahah i wiiiilllll!
his smiles so adorable.. and so yeah we said bye aand theeeeen we noticed jack off in the corner surrounded by girls..

so we let him have his 15 minutes of fame and then i saw zack and i was thinking eeeeh i dont know if we should talk to the asshole or not but we did. and actually.. surprisingly.. he was really nice. 10x nicer than vinny. me him and b made fun of the girl who we asked to take the picture because she couldnt work the camera. and zack was like "it cant be that hard.. just push the button..." and he was laughing at her and she was getting all offended. so he tried to stop but i could hear him giggling and yeah he's very cute. we said bye to him and went and jumped line to talk with jacko.

ahaha but before we talked with him there was this scary greasy girl getting a picture with him and honestly. this moment made the whole entire night.
her: OMGAA K LETS TAKE A PICTURE AND YOU GOTTA BE GHETTO BE BLACK ASS BE ALL GANGSTA PULL YO GHETTO SHIT JUST BE BLACK
he didnt even say anything he just gave her the biggest WTF face ive ever seen in my whole life.
her: CMON GEE BE FRUM THA WEST SIDE YAKNOW BE BLACK BE GHETTO BE GANGSTA
him: ...uh okay....
she was like down on her knees doing some weird shit and jack was so speechless he just gave the camera the finger and then she walked away and he just burst out laughing.

and for the record b didnt listen to atl prior to this event so i was much more aware of how insane these boys are.. so! i was like yoooo and jack goes yooo! and he's still laughing at girl mentioned above. then he goes "OH MY GOD BE RIGHT BACK FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS" and he doesnt even go anywhere he just stands there and starts chanting "DWAYNE! DWAYNE! DWAAAYNEEEEEE! DWAYNE!" and b had a WTF face on almost as big as the one jack gave 5 minutes before. and i was just laughing because yaknow i figured they meant dwayne as in alex's alter ego BUT.. it was actually just some random dude named dwayne. so i got really confused. but then jack goes "I'M BACK!" and we were going to take a picture then someone just haaad to mention how short i was so jack, b, and me just mocked my height for a while then we actually got around to taking the picture. afterwards i stood on my very tiptoes and i whispered in jacks ear "can you do us a favor?" and he bent down and whispered in mine "yes!" and i whispered back "are you sure?!" and hes like "yes!" and i was like "...just a little one?!" and he looked like some eager child waiting for candy and hes like "yeeeees!" and then we got out of the whispering thing and i saaaid "where the hell is alex!?" and he goes "last i heard........... HE WAS IN THE SHOWA!" and i was like "WHAT?!?!?!?!" and he's like "I KNOOOOOOOOOW" and i was like pfffft... and jack told us he should be out soon if we were sneaky and could find him. then some asshole security guard came and screamed AT jack. i felt so bad because jack's jack and he looked so sad and scared. even i was scared ahah this guard just reamed us and jack out. and jacks response was an "......okay....." and so i was like "JESUS we better go!" and we said our byes and yeah..

we were just about to leaveeeee and then i was like WHERE THE HELL IS ALEX. and i turned around and like a sign from god there was alex. ahahah, we went and jumped into him and said hi! and then another security guard came and yelled at alex saying something like "kid youve got 5 minutes so hurry it up" so alex was like "sorry i really only have time for a picture.." and i was like "thats okay!" and so we took the picture and he was really sorry and i was happy to meet him nonetheless but i wish we could have talked. i must say though he looked/smelled sooooo good... :)

so then we decided we actually had to go so we ran outside and this huge ass white stretch limo pulls up and i yell to the public "HEEERES OUR RIDE ;)" and everyone laughed at that really funny joke.. except i was serious because judy picked us up in a limo : ahahah so b and i ran to the limo really fast to avoid too much embarassment. and we hopped in and it was all good and im very happy!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

i cannot explain

how happy i am and how much i miss it already

happy halloween

four days

simple

'how am i supposed to be happy?
everything ive ever wanted - it comes with a price.'

i keep forgetting this

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

'are you afraid of being alone?'

jeff czum just signed on...

im a happy kid for the most part
im refusing to go to bed because i have no place to sleep
its starting to get very cold, and very fast
but cold weather brings winter and winter brings hockey
so a2+b2=c2 and i'm happy
to get back to the no place to sleep part
my rooms torn apart but the paint looks dece
girls make annoying friends, bring on the boys
not much else to say except happy thanksgiving


'cause i am im lost without you'

honest

i am trying so very hard, i am.

i do not know the definition of normal
whatever it is, i am not.

.

so this is what it comes down to.
stress is a killer.
curiosity killed the catastrophe.
more than a trainwreck less than an ambulance.
whatever flows into your brain and makes sense is good for me.
i'm past the point of being able to think.
its building and building and its taking over me.
i am unsure. i cant really comprehend anything.
i do not know what to think, who to think of, when to think, where to think of.
my life in three words is "i dont know"
i dont know why i feel this way. i have more than i give myself credit for.
the feeling of negativity passes over everything.
i dont know why people even bother to try with me.
i'm a lost cause, long shot, dont even take this bet.


ps; "growing up hurts. anyone who says different is a liar"

@

i suck at keeping up.

lifes okay.
going to my second hockey game of this 'season'
brett made cougars. i'll get back to you on whether or not he turns cocky.
althought he kind of already is.

dont have much to say.
im waiting for things to pick up.

i know i missed some stuff from summer in this 'blog'
playing 'worst case scenario' with pam evelynn michelle and brynna.
remember that for me.

yeah i dont know.
might get a phone soon.
i want to meet jeff czum.

all done.

oh yes

i got a guitar

extras

sandy lake was amazing. schools nothing new.
i met 3 australians this year by the way, i'd like to remember that.

these people who i call my friends make me feel worse than anyone else.
theres hockey today but im not good enough to get anything more than an "i'll call you back" im not quite sure why i expect anything more than that. if you catch my drift it means that im not going. fuck i love everyone here so much.

talked to mallory on the phone for 2 hours last night, i guess it makes up for the 4 people who were supposed to call me and didnt.

got the new all time low. november 4th could not come any slower.

hero

the "me" in this situation is Mallory Leisten.. who deserves to be my hero for what shes done.

me: jeffff can you call a canadian for me?! shes fucking sweet. and you talked to her about sledding naked one time

jeff; THE CANADIAN?!

me: YEAH! DANICA!

jeff: I REMEMBER THAT.

me: who wouldnt?

jeff: me

talked to jeff yesterday. katie was actually the one to call, but yes :)
ciwwaf are touring with fob but im not as worried as i was.
i love the kid so much just thinking about it makes me happy.

lae's visit

august 7th - 12th, 2007
okay quick rundown of everything that went on.
day one.
-drive into winnipeg
-met her at the airport
-polo park
-drive home
-went for a walk
-went to the pits
-went for another walk
-went to bed
day two.
-watched some of hp4
-went over to brynnas
-watched disturbia
-went to taklees
-came home
-went to the park/sandhills
-came home
-went to bed
day three.
-went into brandon
-went to boston pizza
-went to the movie
-came home
-went for a drive
-watched tv i think
-went to bed
day four.
-drove to clear lake
-looked around the museum
-looked around the shops
-had a picnic
-drove to onanole
-drove home
-watched harry potter
-went to bed
day five.
-michelle came home
-went to parwest
-met up with b, sarah willy, and kate
-went to the park
-went to bigway
-went to b's
-came home
-went back to b's
-met up with brett dustin and tanner
-went for a walk
-ended up at michelles g's
-walked home with brayden
-went to bed
day six.
-drove to winnipeg
-said goodbye
-had subway
-went home

YEAH! i will seriously elaborate more on each, but i needed the guidepoint for now.

august 3rd/4th 2007

dont swing in the pouring rain, ever.
not much happened on friday except that it rained really really bad. we hung out in the park.. i have never been so soaked in my whole life. everyone was in the bathrooms besides a select few. jenna was jumping in the river and stuff and jeff was being all gay like "omg i would do anything to save you" yeaaah.. but besides we were all trying to find shelter. it wasnt anything interesting but yeah when do we do interesting stuff around here. being with eachother interests us. guy came to lock up the bathroom and the boys were in there drinking. aka that meant everyone took a mad dash for the nearest place to hide. we're so retarded.

august 4th-
nothing happened really except that we went to hairspray. michelle and kelsey both had a 26 and were definitely showing it. andrew is so hilarious hahaha, the movie itself was actually dece. i hate zac efron but he was semi cute in this movie. seaweed was adorable too. :) not much to say except that i hate motion sickness.

lae comes tuesday!
oh yeah and cute is what we aim for might tour with fall out boy. that means chances of meeting mr. jeff czum have gone down 99% i'm just hoping its fake rumors. :(
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

august 1st 2007

start of the second half of summer.
i vow to make it better than the first.

to make the first part of this night shortened up - kelsey and michelle got pissed because i was against using my ouija board and they asked my own father to go get it anyways. then got all bitchy with me because i called and told him to. not. bring. it. so they went and found another one but i ended up getting glares for the rest of the night. whatever.

we ended up at brynnas and the real fun of the night started when we made the decision to walk to the dam. at the time it was brynna, jenna (b's cousin), myself, ben, brett, and jeff. so we were making our way and im sure i wont forget that about 10 minutes before you get to the dam itself the town stopped supplying lights i guess, so its pitch dark. so we had quite the time getting down there but we got there. and the guys were being retards and trying to kill themselves, number one reason why i hate the dam. but no one ended up dying and we ended up going back. then i dont remember who decided it but we decided to take the path through the bush. and we had taken it before but it was LIGHT OUT LAST TIME. it was a huge gong show. we came to a dead end and we were all like wtf is going on here? and jenna and i were holding eachothers hands because i have to admit it was creepy. then ben was all freaking out because he heard something behind us. i still havent decided whether i believe him or not. we went back to b's and brett went home. we had a total dr phil confrontation. ben and brynna vs me jenna and jeff. i cant even explain it except for one thing - ben needs to be gay. brynna and i decided to lie in the hammock and switch everyones names. example - brynna walker turns into wrynna balker. which somehow i found sounded like "wanna bonk her" hahahha. best ever was waleigh calker, sounding like "whaley cocker" brynnas family gets all the fun ones haha. anyways i ended up walking home alone, i usually walk with ben but him and jeff had to go down to the park so i just walked home. it was so quiet, like SO quiet. the only thing i could hear were my own footsteps. i heard one dog bark once and one car passed me. but besides that it was completely silent. it was a good feeling.

ps; right now its august 2nd. we did basically the same thing tonight but it wasnt as good.
officially four days until we go pick up lae. she comes home tomorrow/today. :) ahh life.
oh and i might possibly have a chance to talk to mr. jeff czum sometime soon, oh how he changes my life. i will meet him someday i swear to myself.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

july 30th 2007

saw the mexican last night.
went back to as if things had never left.
same old group, same old stuff, same old feelings - the happy ones.

lae comes in seven days, one week.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

whitebear/kenosee

july19th - july22nd 2007
so this is like one of my most anticipated trips of every summer for the past few years. and right before we left it started to all fall apart :( ben decided to go to the states instead of coming, and he's been there every year so automatically it wasnt going to be the same without benjamen. then like the day before baylea decided to tell me that she wasnt coming either, so i was bummed/mad about that. THEEEENN, delaney ended up lying to michelle and not bringing her, instead bringing jaycie, who doesnt annoy me at all..... (except not) and so i was bummed again that michelle wasnt coming and even more that jaycie was coming. and with those setbacks, i'll start the actual "adventure"

so wednesday night, brynna came over at like 10ish? we finished making our cookies and then went downstairs, we figured if she stayed the night she'd be here and we could get a better start off in the morning. so we read AP for like an hour and some then decided to go to bed (ps; walmart called us and they have AP restocked! i can get the boys like girls issue now :D) we woke up the next morning and forreal just packed right up and headed out at 9:09 hehe, we drove and stopped at redvers as usual. except richard stopped at the wrong gas station, but thankfully the one we stopped at had no snacks so we ended up stopping at the usual place anyways :) me b and brayden looked at all the posters and got some snacks then hopped back in the vehicle. we made it to carlyle, then drove on to whitebear. we all stopped (lezlie,donna,richard & kim, and us) and got our passes, but guess what?! SOMEONE WAS CAMPING IN OUR USUALY SPOTS. this kenosee trip seriously wasnt the same as the others and it had only just started :( so we drove out to the campground and we looked around and picked different spots because some rich assholes stole ours. then we had to find a "common site" so we picked one that was nothing compared to the one from previous years, but we all set up and soon everything was all setup and we were all in our campsites. when we first got there me b alissa and breanne walked down to the beach in search of a bathroom, hahahah we found a really nasty outhouse that literally looked like it had been attacked by a bear, and so brynna used that. probably the nastiest bathroom ive ever seen. hahaha we walked all the way back up to the sites (the walk is straight uphill and frankly quite a long way) for most of thursday delaney jaycie and brayden ignored me and brynna. actually it was more like they glared at us and acted as if we werent even there. so me and brynna went to the beach and listened to music and laid in the sun. i got a really nasty burn because one of my hands was smothered in sunscreen so i wiped it off on my back, therefore there is now a white handprint on my back and the rest is burnt hahah. but yeah we walked back with brayden which is like a first for him actually talking to us. (oh yeah somewhere in there me and b watched 'what a girl wants' haha i never get sick of that) we got back from the beach and just kinda hung out and ate chicken (it was actually pretty good) delaney and jaycie ignored us and brayden said no when we asked if they wanted to do something so we were left with pretty much nothing to do. tasha took me and brynna into carlyle to get a couple movies hahahah it ended up being a hilarious trip. we got dead silence (which we ended up not watching) and stranger than fiction (which we never finished) tasha had 2 drinks and we saw the cops on the way home so she freaked out and decided she needed a gumball, it was pretty funny at the time. the other 3 actually agreed to hang out with us to watch the movie, so me brynna brayden jaycie delaney jayda and ryder watched stranger than fiction in tashas camper. jaycie was a bitch to me but i expected it as soon as i knew she was coming. she was being all snotty with everything i said but whatever, shes jaycie. we didnt get to finish the movie and ended up just going to bed. the next morning we basically had breakfast courtesy of richard and packed up to go to kenosee. we went at like 11 our time. the hottub was nasty, it was all brown and gross. but it was 36 degrees or something? so that didnt really bother us too bad. jaycie and delaney ignored us again but whatever. me and b went on all the tube rides with brayden and such. we spent a little bit of time with jayda at the kiddie slides, there were these two adorable boys there as well. brynna and i went around the moat that day like uhhh 10 times? hahah the wraps we had at lunch were really good i must admit.. haha. b and i put on sunscreen like every half hour... oh and ashley scott randomly showed up. after we ate jaycie and delaney decided it would be okay to hang out with us. (ps im writing this like 2 weeks later so i dont really remember everything) we went on the tube rides so many times, and jaycie was like hitting on this lifeguard that wasnt cute at all. and he was calling us his "crew" and stuff hahah i was like.. gross... then we started hanging out with this huge group of guys who were from estevan. they were pretty funny and a couple of them were pretty decent looking. eventually delaneys friend giovanni from tournament of champions showed up. he was definitely cute. haha just went on the tube rides with all them for the rest of the day. OH YEAH! and sydney and hannah showed up! i hadnt seen them in forever but i felt terrible because i barely hung out with them. :( but yeah i guess my friends were there and i had invited brynna so i shouldnt have just ditched her. near the very end we all stood at the bottom of the free fall and watched delaney and gio come down. we got completely showered everytime someone came down but that was okay haha. then we went and watched the bonsai. we were standing with gio and he had NO idea who we were but me and brynn explained it to him hahaa, then he was talking to this lifeguard and it went like this:
gio: YO JOEY! DO A BACKFLIP
random little girl: whaat?!!?
gio: NOT YOU, JOEY DO A BACKFLIP!
"joey": NO.
gio: COME ON DO A BACKFLIP
little girl: uhh i can do a cartwheel?
hahahahahaha, all of us laughed at her, then she got upset and left, i felt slightly bad but eh, hahah. then we basically went back. mom and i had a huge fight in the vehicle. but it ended up being okay. we went back and had hot dogs and such then delaney and jaycie went back to ignoring us. brynna and i went and read AP up in the tower thing. THEN A MAN WITH A BROKEN FINGER CAME THROUGH THE BUSH. it was the weirdest thing i have ever seen. i dont remember what we did but we went to bed thats all i know. it was like 43 degrees on the saturday, like too hot to do anything haha. im really shortening this up because i dont remember it all. but we stayed inside my camper and watched matilda. we went to the minigolf and i dont remember much else. eh dont really care too much either haha it was too hot to do anything. on the sunday we packed right up and sat in the car for an hour and a half before dad actually decided to leave. the drive home was sosoosos hot, but we got home. :) i know i REALLY shortened this up but i was lazy and forgot to write it. sorry! :(

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/

HARRY FREAKIN POTTER!

july 13th 2007
friday the 13th! and an eventful one at that.. i'll start with arriving home at like 1ish. michelle was still in stonewall and b was out "picking berries" and those are the only two people that i would think wanted to go to harry potter with me hahaha. so at like 530 michelle calls me telling me theyre picking me up in like half an hour to hit the 6:40 show. so hahaha they showed up and we went to brynnas. eventually katie and brynn came, going on about how "they dont know a thing about harry potter" but thats okay hahah, we stopped at my house to get my glasses because i remember well.. then hahahahahahaha something went wrong with the door while we were trying to pull out of the driveway, and it was stuck or something, so everytime it closed it would automatically shoot back open again hahahaahhaha. and katie was screaming at the top of her lungs, katie-style. and we were all crying from laughing so hard and it was like first step of the wonderful friday the 13th. so we drove there and ended up missing the 6:40 one by like 8 minutes so we decided to go for the 7:00 one. when we went to walk into the theatre there was a sign that said "all tickets for 7:00 hp5 are sold out" so we were like greaaaat... and ended up going to the mall to kill 2 hours until the 9:20 one. katie and brynna were all "nooo we dont want to go" so they left with katies mom when we got to the mall. so it was me, michelle, and michelles cousin jodi. so we ended up walking down the highway in brandon, and some random guy honked at us (well he wasnt that random, he was hitting on brynna in the mall parking lot) and then we stopped in a forbidden flavours so i could get some apple juice. hahaha we continued on and went to some park to go on the swings cause michelles obsessed. then while we were walking home we walked past a housefull of (drunk) guys. they were calling us "summer ghurrrlzzz that walked into their paratay" hahahha. then they asked if we were under 16, michelle said yeah, and they were like DAMNIT. and one said "dude we could go to jail!" hahahah like wtf, then they were throwing empty beer cans at us so... i was about ready to geeet the hell outta there. so we walked back to the theatre and got in line, which was all the way back to the arcade games (which is INSANE) and so we waited. we saw lots of people... tess from basketball camp, the computer guy from school, some other random people, hahah. then we went into the movie. ahhhh i love harry potter so much, i have to admit i hate cho, but i love harry potter haha. the movies are maturing and so are the characters. it makes me wish the 6th one was ready to see right now. i dont want to have to wait a really long timeeee! i love harry potter for the 293084029th time :D and im going to bed now! i will probably elaborate on this more later.. oh and ps. i've made a flickr!

okay here i am elaborating more..
a) professer umbridge on harry potter is the biggest bitch ive ever seen in a movie. and she actually played a really bitchy teacher in freedom writers too, so im really wondering if she's just a bitchy person!? hahah but yeah she frustrated me so bad, i kinda hate her?! haha. i'm really excited for the harry/ginny hookup, because as i said i really dont like cho. and ron and hermoine are just adorable. AND SEAMUS WAS STILL IN IT! in all the stuff i read and everything he wasnt in the lists and such, but he was there! (being all mean to harry but still) hahah he's one of my favorites. luna's really pretty too.. shes definitely screwed up a bit, but she's pretty. i looove harry potter :D

spruce woods

july11th - july13th 2007
officially the most beautiful place ever. its been like 2 years since we've gone and i definitely missed it. we left decently early... hailey had a complete meltdown in the car and stressed everyone out 100%, so we got takeout at mickeyd's instead of sitting in. i hate eating food like that it makes you feel so gross.. but yeah so anyways we arrived at spruce woods and got our spot and whatnot. we had a helluva time backing in. but we eventually got it. our first time in an actual campground with the new camper! i dont remember really everything we did. i know we went and got wood.. me liss and dad. mom and i went for a walk down and saw the beach and then we went to the pine fort and looked around in the store and such. after we had supper.. all of us went for a walk with hailey to the park :D she played and afterwards we went and got ice cream. mom and dad bought hailey some sand toys.. and then im pretty sure we just went back and sat around the fire for a bit. i read my AP (which mom tried to steal a few times) and dad and lissa played crib. oh yeah and sometime during this day dad hit hailey a few times. it kinda hurts my heart. but besides that, my sleep wednesday night was horrible, everytime i went to fall asleep i would wake up again, and i didnt fall asleep until like 4am. but this was the first time hailey slept in the bed and not in her playpen. the first night wasnt that good because she was up all the time, but she slept all through the night thursday night. but anyways, on thursday we had breakfast and such, then we headed out to the marshs lake trail. it ended up being super hot by the time we were done, but hailey was good! she wanted to be carried a lot, but thats okay. we saw a whole bunch of turtles, like more than ive ever seen in one place before, all on this log out on the lake. they were sunbathing hahaha, then we made it to the floating bridge. we all stood on it but never made it across because it was covered in .. well, water. so we looked at all the lilies in the water and continued on. there wasnt much on the rest of the trail except for the info boards (i dont know what to call them haha) and A LOT of bees and flies. there were a lot of pretty flowers though! a zillion degrees later we were back to the truck, and we went to glenboro to the store. honestly, that town scares me haha. we bought groceries and such and then went back to the campground. dad and lissa and i went and got ice and more wood, then just hung around the campground until hailey was awake. then we went to the beach! there were tons of people there. alissa and i played with hailey (her first time at a beach!) we made sandcastles and such, and then there was this one point where the sun went behind the clouds and all of the sudden everyone was leaving. it ended up that there was us and 4 other people with the whole beach to ourselves. it was an amazing feeling. we hung out there for a bit longer and then went back to the suburban, hailey played at the park a bit then we came back for supper. we just had hot dogs haha, too tired to make a full meal. we didnt really do much of anything after supper, i was taught how to play crib and then we had a tournamentish thing. me and mom kicked! haha. afterwards we just kinda sat by the fire and played association. then mom started screaming because she heard something behind her, which actually turned out to be a racoon. i saw him! he was cute! haha, we got freaked out after that so we went to bed. i slept really good. i woke up the next morning and made french toast for everyone. (i must admit, it was good) then dad and lissa and i went on the isputinaw. its hard now because we have hailey so someone always has to stay behind. i really missed mom on it, it was always a family thing we did and we couldnt do it this year :( but it was amazing nonetheless. prettiest place ever i will repeat, the view in so many parts of that hike is breathtaking. it was nice and cool in some parts and nice and warm in others. it goes from marsh to dryland and back again, its amazing. when we were done with that, we went to find out what a "yurt" was because it had been puzzling us since we got there... and we discovered it was a like tent/cabin you can rent. which is really sweet, and theres a picture of the thing on my flickr. i really want to rent one haha. but then we went back to the campsite and packed everything up and pulled out. mom and lissa and i went to the gift shop while dad and hailey went back to the park. we got a magnet for the camper, a shirt for dad and one for hailey too, and a couple bears in a boat for auntie&bob :) then we just headed home and it was pretty uneventful, except that we almost hit a car of old ladies

i've decided im going to post this at the bottom of either random posts, or all posts, from now on.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sparksmokes/
kenosee in 4/5 days!! meeting my best friend in 24 days!!

july 10th 2007

so today was my official one day home before we leave again. it was pretty good i must say. mom and i went and picked up brynna and went to the store. we bought like 3 different cookie mixes and then decided to walk back to b's in the misty rain stuff. so we step onto the swinging bridge and i fell flat on my ass and slid like 5 feet hahah. there were a man and woman sitting at the top laughing at me.. and me and brynn were laughing so hard haha. we made it to b's successfully (sp?) and started making cookies. we had some double chocolate, and two different kinds of chocolate chip. so brynna sucks at reading directions and put a cup of water in instead of 2 teaspoons (=/) and so she had to add cups of flour to make it not waterlike hahahahah. they tasted really funny.. but the rest were okay. we ran out of cookie sheets so we made the last few in a muffin pan hahaha. and we burnt the last batch of the double chocolate so bad, the bottoms were like charcoal. and i wound up as hard as i could and beat the freakin things with a spatula and they like bounced off hahah the things were so hard! so we put them in a bag to take to jeremy since he was base umping the guys game. so yeah we ended up watching that. souris vs virden for the chance to go to provincials. we secretly wanted souris to lose.. just so ben would be home to go to kenosee with us ! and so anyways nothing really happened.. bretts nieces were being pretty cute haha. and me and delaney reflected on lots of our past. i miss being friends but part of me doesnt miss it as well. anyways so the guys lost. but ben said he cant come to kenosee anyways? pffffft! i hope he can though.. it wouldnt be the same haha. and then me and brynna walked home... laughed about really random stuff.. and i came back here. and now im just watching tv and im going to attempt to go to bed at a decent time, but i probably wont :) leave tomorrow for spruce woods in the early am!

upcoming events

summers so busy. :)
july 11th - spruce woods
july 13th - harry potter 5! AHHH so upset im missing the release date.
july 14th - minnedosa maybe?!
july 18th/19th - KENOSEEEEEEEE :D
july 29th - ale comes home! i just found out about this today! :)
august 7th - laaaaae is coming! hehehe finally meeting one of my best friends ever!

as for the rest im sure we're going somewhere and doing something..
but these are the only for sures for now. i think we might go back to sandy lake.
maaan im excited :D

southey/regina/moosejaw

july7th - july9th 2007
a nice 8am leave on saturday morning. the drive there wasnt much special seeing as of how i slept most of the way until we hit grenfell, where we decided to stop for lunch. it was a nice place, cute restaurant, and my pancakes were super good. by the time we got there the one hour saskatchewan time difference was already getting to us! ahah and then we continued on with like 2 hours left until we would make it to regina. my mom phoned her uncle dave and we decided we werent stopping in regina and we were just going on to southey. and i had some freaky allergic reaction to something which involved splotches everywhere and my eyes going almost completely red.. inside and out. so i took some benadryl which knocked me out right until we got to regina. i dont spend too much of my time in big cities so i always love going through/into them. we took a few wrong turns, and eventually were on the way to southey. again i fell asleep in the vehicle on the way there, and woke up just as we had pulled up to the "hotel" now this whole time the temperature was like over 30 celcius and we were practically dying haha. and okay so anyways back to the hotel, we get there and really i couldnt explain it to you if i tried. most rundown place ever and just like.. hahah i still cannot believed i stayed in there. the hotel owner was like "blahablha only way you can stand it is if your wasted!!! come to me at 3am for some beer folks!" anyways so we "travelled" the "town" and eventually i crashed in the hotel for an hour or so. okay now coming up is like the highlight of my trip pretty much. as we started getting ready for the wedding (the whole reason we went on this trip haha) other people that were going to the wedding started to show up. now okay i come out of the room and run right into this guy and he looked so much like jeff czum.. seriously! and i didnt realize who he looked like until the wedding but seriously like. a young version of jeff i swear and i was like amazed at this guy. he was actually really nice too, and staying in the same horror movie hotel that we were. okay so back to the trip hehehe, i got my dress on and did my hair and such and then we went to the church. i saw bob & deedee, and i havent seen them for a very long time so i gave my hugs and said my hellos. (the funny thing is that with like.. all of these people i know im related to them im just not sure how hahha) so we went into the church and i said my hellos to my moms uncle frank & aunt jackie.. cousin wendy & her son issac, some relatives named dianne and shane and jordan. and it was like over 40 degrees in that church and i was dying once again. but the ceremony ended up being lovely. i saw my moms cousin frankie and his wife glenda right before and i love them a whole lot so it was really nice to see them. then the ceremony started and i saw frankie boy (aka son of cousin frankie haha) who i havent seen in years, and his sister whittney (same story) and then amelia came down the aisle and her dress was so beautiful and her hair and her and just everything. the ceremony was fairly quick and right away we were out of the church saying more hellos to everyone. including bob & reita. then we went over to the hockey rink (i felt very much at home if im being honest) where the supper and dance was held. the speeches were intended to be funny but really werent. and the food was good. then like halfway through glenda wanted a pair of shoes so i said i'd go get mine from the truck.. and while doing that i realized that the side of our car had been keyed. so i told my dad and mom, mom got frank, and frank got the best man trevor, and the cops were called. then it turns out by the end of the night over 31 cars were keyed. woo!? hahah but besides that minor problem, the rest was good. i danced with frank to the sweet escape.. it was sweet. said hello to frankie boy, maaan its been so long since we've actually talked like relatives/friends/people haha. and im still waiting for whenever we actually talk like that because actually it wasnt even a hello just a wave and smile. i saw whittney and she told me she didnt even recongize me anymore and we talked for a good 30 seconds but it was good! and she's so pretty really. then i said hello and congrats to amelia, and we talked with her for like 10ish minutes or something. oh and jeff czum jr was sitting behind us and he really was amazingly cute.. and my mom lied to him cause he asked if we had extra chairs and she's like "no sorry" even though i think it was pretty obvious that there were like 3 extra chairs at our table.. but whatever 90% of their table were wasted by the end of the night so im sure they didnt notice. anyways, i started to have the rash and red eye thing happen all over again so mom gave me more benadryl and i fell asleep sitting up at the table.. so i was kinda sure that it was about time to go back to the hotel so we did that.. and i crashed right away despite the fact it was a zillion degrees and we were in a slasher hotel haha. then i woke up day 2 (sunday) by dad kicking our door haha. (liss and i stayed in a seperate room from mom & dad) and we pretty much packed up and called moms uncle dave to meet him at the best western for breakfast. but remember haha our 9 is only saskatchewans 8, so we had a really long time until we could check in to the best western for night 2 (checkin was 3, 4 for us) and we had breakfast where i had french toast with whip cream and strawberries :D then we went up to uncle daves suite, it had two huge skylights, probably one of the nicest rooms ive ever seen. i watched a baton twirling championship hahaha, just to kill time before we were going to moosejaw. then mom came up to the room so we went to leave for moosejaw, haha we got lost a couple times but eventually took a very long dirt road back to the highway to get there. once again i fell asleep on the drive and woke up as soon as we arrived. now this is the most amazing town ive ever been in. it is 99% old fashioned buildings, its beautiful, i couldnt tell you what time era these buildings are but its just.. so amazing.. a place everyone should go see. and so we got lost a couple more times (we arent that good with cities) but finally found the tunnels place, and once we knew where it was we had an hour to spare (time diff) and so we went to the walmart so i could get the AP episode with BLG in it, but of course i found AP but it wasnt the right one.. but i got it anyways, and a pair of flipflops since glenda lost mine the night before. then we ended up somehow wasting an hour in there and went to the tunnels. ahhh it was so neat too, its all underground and stuff and the bartender and piano player in the cafe looked so real and they moved and talked and it was sweet. haha when we ended up having to be below the ground i got kinda creeped out, specially since they always picked me out of the group of 15 to have to knock on the doors and open them first and stuff haha, but overall it was just really neat and active and awesome. we got tshirts, both me & lissa, mine says scarface (after al capone, of course) dad said it should say scarhand.. funny haha. anyways so as soon as we were done with that we got some fries from mickeyd's and left the city to go back to the hotel room. it was like 4 something our time when we got back and we had about 3 hours until we were supposed to be at the family barbeque, so i showered, and slept, and got ready, and we left haha. we got to frank & glendas and they had just finished cooking (good timing) and these burgers themselves were like double the width of my mouth hahah plus bun and stuff, i'm not quite sure what kind of hamburgers they eat in saskatchewan. but there was no way i was eating that haha. i talked to frankie about football and tvs but it wasnt anything too sweet. i sat outside and talked with all my family members which was good. then amelia and trent and whittney and some random little kid came back because they were at the roughriders game.. so we said hi to them and such. then eventually we decided we were going to go, so i gave frank a huge hug.. frankie disappeared so there was no saying bye to him haha, whittney left right away too no bye to her either haha, but i said bye to glenda and amelia and trent and shane and the whole works. then we went back to the hotel and watched some nice harry potter previews and interviews.. then i just crashed and through all the vehicle sleeps and the night in the horror hotel, that was my worst sleep ive had to say. so i woke up half dead, annddd we went for breakfast with moms uncle dave, uncle frank & aunt jackie, bill & reita, and wendy and issac, i again had french toast with whip cream & strawberries, again it was really good :D then we went for a "swim" which was really just me sitting in the hottub for like 10 minutes. then we went back and got changed, said goodbyes and we practically packed everything up and headed off. we just drove and i slept and we stopped in moosomin for food and shit and then i slept again then we stopped in virden to pick up something for our new camper then we just drove right home. and ive been anti-hailey for like 3 days now so picking her up was so sweet and im happy to be around her now hahah. and thats the trip :)

a couple side notes. i slept to regina, from regina, to southey, from southey, to moosejaw, from moosejaw. i slept a lot.. ahaha. oh and mom was telling me how close she is with this family and she hopes that we will be too and from where it looks right now its not looking like we will be but i really want to be. specially.. mainly.. with frank and glendas kids.. because the relationship my mom and frank have is a really good one, and i'd like to have the same with some of those kids. hopefully sometime frankie and whittney and amelia come down and we hang out like we used to. frankie and i were at one time like buddies haha, it'd be nice to go back to that. i actually really want to.. ive never been really close with any of my cousins.. (i think he might be a cousin somehow) mostly because ive never wanted to be hahah but really. oh and a final note, the waitress at the hotel was funny and jeff czum jr was adorable :)

basketball camp

july2nd - july6th 2007
so for this whole week i went to basketball camp at neelin highschool in brandon. me and michelle and brynna went together.. and there isnt too much to say about it. there was about 24ish girls there and each day we ran drills and played 5 on 5 attack near the end. i nearly had a hemiparesis migraine a couple times but i ended up surviving through that :) psycho bitch (who attacked me during club basketball with coach p) came on the wednesday i think and i really did fear for my life but we just avoided eachother and everything ended up okay! i think i improved a bit over this week and it was nice to stay in shape and such. i dont have much to say.. but the tshirts were sweet!

hahahah okay and the thursday of this week me and brynn and michelle decided we might as well sleep altogether. and even better! we could camp out in the new camper me and the fam bought.. haha camp out on the front lawn.. yessss. we snuck over to braydens to jump on the trampoline which we did.. and we sang really intense acapella.. really. hahaha we all went back and went to sleep. there's a chance i might elaborate more later..

sandy lake

june29th - july1st 2007
well the friday was awards and shit like that, then me and b and michelle made 62 cupcakes! really! hahah then we went to kates and gave her the cupcakes in a way of saying goodbye.. since i was missing the going away party. hahah brynna was multitasking singing and pedalling an excersize bike.. but yeah anyways me and mom and kim and brayden picked up hailey and headed off. i fell asleep in the vehicle so the ride wasnt that bad. we got there and baylea wasnt there yet so really nothing was happening. greg and dad and bob and richard pulled the firepit up to the top of the hill. i don't remember too much about the first night since im doing this like.. reflecting back haha. to be honest i dont remember anything but there werent a lot of people there so i dont think anything really happened. saturday kirby & bev & baylea showed up, and jerrid did too eventually. during the day i think i just read a lot, and listened to my mp3 player, i went uptown with alissa and mom and kim and auntie and we shopped a little but nothing too serious. alissa and i talked french to eachother the whole time.. pretty sweet haha. then they had fireworks the saturday night because kim and i were coming home the sunday (which was canada day :D) i watched some seasons of sex and the city with baylea and brayden and jerrid and jerrids sister.. whose name i think was chantel. we watched the fireworks go off, they were actually not that bad ! i was wiped and really didnt feel good so i laid inside for a bit then went out by the fire. hahah then i noticed a fire going down by the lake which later turned out to be the picnic table on fire. but i went to bed and woke up the next morning. i didnt see baylea until like 3 and the whole morning went by pretty slowly.. then eventually baylea and jerrid and me and brayden went for a walk uptown. so we get there and buy our candy and whatnot and then we went to the park and played on swings and stuff, hahahaha. okay then we decided to cut through this random yard to get back to the cabin, but we had to jump a ditch on the side of the road. so jerrid took a huge running leap at the thing and just made it and he turned around to tell brayden not to jump but he already had. and brayden landed... well not close enough to the other side and slipped backwards into the huge pile of sludge hahaha. and he was like laying down in it and he stood up and was just covered in it completely he was so mad and we were all laughing so hard. hahah he was some kind of mud monster. we ended up coming back and watching epic movie, then after supper kim wanted to come back so it was time to go. so i said goodbye to baylea and jerrid, and my family. and hopped in the car where brayden randomly showed up and then we came home.

i was supposed to stay at brynnas that sunday because of basketball the following week in brandon, but there was no answer there and by 1130 i had given up so i locked every door in this house (big town of souris) and went to bed, and she phoned at like 1230 freaking out because they had forgot about me and saying that she was coming right this instant and no matter how many times i told her i was not coming she hung up and came over here super quick hahah. so i stayed the sunday night via brynnas house to end it off :)